Back To School In My 40s
A few years ago I was starting to feel unfilled in my business. At first, I felt bored, then apathetic, and then irritated. At everything and everyone. As I dug deeper into my day-to-day work, my purpose, and what I saw for my future, I realized I was burned out. I needed rest, yes, but I also needed brand new challenges. My brain was calling for the opportunity to think differently, to learn new things, and to get out of the same old perspective. The life and career I had spent so much time and energy building, didn’t fit anymore. A friend of mine suggested I go back to school for a new degree - Dietetics. This would open me (and my business) up to a new part of the food and service industry, a private practice as a Registered Dietitian.
It was within my industry but would get me into a classroom and out of my office. I started taking classes at the local community college. One class at a time I realized I loved this science stuff! Who was I? My first degree is in Political Science and I worked for environmental non-profits before opening my cafe. While I have food service experience and small business experience, taking science classes felt like a HUGE jump. Who did I think I was?
Three years into taking one class at a time and one year into a pandemic that dramatically changed my business, I decided it was time to go for it. I set some goals including hiring a General Manager, new sales goals to accommodate the added expenses, and thought through what would happen if my business didn’t make it while I tried this other thing.
But here’s the thing. I was burned out from my role inside my business. I wasn’t going to make it much longer doing the same thing I had been doing for almost 9 years. I NEEDED a change. I needed a change to my schedule, my work, my perspective from deep within my soul. The shop wasn’t going to make it if I didn’t put myself first.
This was not an easy decision. It was crushing in fact. I had to admit I was burned out. I had to admit someone else would do my job better than I was capable of doing it. I had to admit that maybe the shop wouldn’t make it no matter how much of myself, my energy, my soul I had already put in it. I had to admit that I would survive any outcome. For someone who prides herself on solving problems and working hard, this was heartbreaking to consider.
I decided the risk was worth it.
I’m now on my second full-time semester at Nicholls State University. In classrooms full of 20-year-olds, always older than my professors.
Do you know what happened? I love it!
I was not a great student my first go around. Going through my transcripts with my advisor was a gut punch. Oh right, I was a C student and I did fail Algebra multiple times. What am I doing again? How would I be able to pass these classes?
The funny part is that I’m learning so much about myself. That wasn’t part of the plan. I didn’t set out to learn more about myself. I know myself. I work hard. I love the service industry. I love my dogs. I have a very loud laugh. I had worked so hard over the past ten years building this one dream that I think I kind of lost track of who I am without my business. And it feels really good to figure out who I am besides this one dream. Maybe I have other dreams too that I can also realize. Maybe I’m a whole person outside my business. These are only a few of the deep dives this experience has offered.
But I want to share a few more with you. I want to share three things I’ve learned so far since going back to school in my 40s:
You can absolutely learn new things in your 40s. Like chemistry and statistics! I haven’t set foot in a real classroom since 2001. I also failed or barely passed most of my science and math classes when I was a full-time student. But small business ownership is about learning and using that knowledge as fast as possible. Just like being a student.
You can’t anticipate what you are interested in learning unless you start learning. My first thought when I saw the list of classes I would have to take - How the hell was I going to pass Statistics or Chemistry for Science Majors? Well, it turns out I find some of this incredibly interesting. I NEVER would have known I was interested in some of the subjects had I not been forced to take these classes. Turns out when I do my bookkeeping I’ve been using statistics formulas. I had no idea! Also, I had no idea Chemistry would be interesting to me. NO. CLUE. I love that at 42 I am learning about what I find interesting. It makes me want to be more curious about what else I find interesting. The world seems so much bigger now. It takes some of the responsibility I feel off my shoulders to know there is so much more out there.
I already know so much simply from being alive for so many years. The best part of going to college later in life is that you already know so much and your only mode of passing classes is not memorization. I have a lot of experience that helps me remember and learn key concepts. I’m not dependent on memorization like I was as a young person. I can attach so much of what I’m learning to actual experiences I have already had. That makes learning so much easier. And i feel so much smarter than I did the first time around!
Going back to school in your 40s is not easy. I still have a mortgage to pay, I have employees to take care of, and now I have student loan debt. Things I didn’t have to worry about the first time I went to college. I also have a huge appreciation for parents who go back to school while working. Those are some superheroes!
The surprise is that I’m not just getting a new degree, I’m discovering a Reneé I didn’t realize was here. I can’t predict the future. I have no idea how this is going to work out or what the final business plan will be. I’m walking forward only knowing the next few months at a time. But no matter how it turns out, this opportunity to go back to school for two new degrees (oh right I’m also getting a Masters in Public Health) is truly a gift and an amazing experience!
Going back to school isn’t for everyone, but being more curious can absolutely make everyone’s life a little more enjoyable. The world is chaotic right now and it’s easy to read the news everyday and feel overwhelmed. I really want to challenge you to follow one curious thought, one idea that takes you out of your normal everyday path. It can make all the difference.
